Depression. Anger. Despair. Sorrow. Grief. Darkness. These emotions and experiences are often life’s traveling companions. I’ve had my share of these emotions over the past few years.

My dad passed away in January after a two year battle with multiple myeloma. Dad’s journey was difficult. A previous stroke diminished the left side of his body. Mild cognitive impairment damaged his memory. Diabetes wrecked his systems. Cancer and treatments attacked his bones. Dad suffered until he died.

I was dad’s primary caregiver during his last years of life and got a firsthand view of his trials. His physical limitations required that I took him to appointments, met with doctors, paid his bills, and filled his prescriptions. That season of caring for my dad while also trying to be a husband, father, and pastor was the most difficult season of my life. I went through moments of frustration, despair, anger, and darkness. Multiple times I felt spiritually weak and sick (my family would agree). There were situations where my courage wavered, and I trembled at the decisions I faced.

I felt the way David described in Psalm 143.

For the enemy has pursued my soul; he has crushed my life to the ground; he has made me sit in darkness like those long dead. Therefore my spirit faints within me; my heart within me is appalled.

Psalm 143:3-4

David uses two images for the depth of his difficulties: a fainting spirit and an appalled heart. The word “faint” means to be weak or sickly. Whatever situation occasioned David’s psalm, he felt inwardly or spiritually weak. The word appalled is even more descriptive. It means “trembling, uninhabited, or deserted.” David’s heart (his courage and confidence) had deserted him. In context, his enemies had driven him to fear and weakness.

Looking back at David’s life and journey, he had numerous moments where his life was in the balance, enemies pursued and surrounded him, and he needed divine intervention to survive. David is not alone in these thoughts and feelings.

At times my emotions were a wreck, my frustrations elevated, and my courage diminished. I’m grateful that David gives voice to our fears and struggles. Thankfully, he did more than affirm our difficulties. In Psalm 143 he offered medicine for a deserted heart. Here are David’s instructions.

• Plead honestly and humbly to the Lord in prayer. The entire psalm is a prayer, and David references prayer specifically in 143:1, 6, 7. His prayer is honest “plea for mercy;” an entreaty, “in your faithfulness answer me;” and humble, “for no one living is righteous before you.” David grasped that God’s mercies and answers were not because of his righteousness, but God’s own goodness. David pled the mercy and grace of the Lord. When we are burdened, struggling, and weak, prayer is one of the first things we ought to do.
• Remember and ponder the good works of God. Verse five is key here, “I remember the days of old; I meditate on all you have done; I ponder the work of your hands.” Too often we wallow in our own feelings and struggles. I know I have. The more we gaze internally at what ails us or externally at our enemies or problems, the greater those dilemmas seem. Remembering, meditating, and pondering God and his good works is good medicine for our life’s struggles. Read the Bible and review how God has acted and intervened before. Who God was is who God is. The more we gaze at God and his good works, the more our issues will diminish. The hymn writer penned it best,
  Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
  Look full in His wonderful face,
  And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
  In the light of His glory and grace.
• Hear and listen to the gospel of God’s steadfast love. In verses 8 and 12, David highlights the steadfast love of God. “Steadfast love” is the English translation for the Hebrew word hesed. Often, the word is translated “lovingkindness.” There is really not a single English word that covers all of what hesed includes. It is God’s covenantal, certain, love with action toward his people. Steadfast love in the Old Testament foreshadows the gospel in the New Testament. Jesus’ death on the cross is the covenantal lovingkindness of God to sinners. David prayed, “Let me hear of your steadfast love in the morning.” We can apply this each day. When we open up God’s Word, we can and should read the Bible as if God is speaking to us. This is the way we can listen to God and his gospel of steadfast love in our lives. This reminder is doubly important when we “feel” weak, fearful, and trembling. The gospel reminds us that our feelings are not the best determiners of our reality. God’s covenant steadfast love in the gospel is our reality.
• Seek the Lord’s guidance and direction. This medicine is good, but what do we do when faced with challenges and situations that require decisions? We need to act, choose, get involved, do something. Paralysis by analysis is damaging and fleeing or hiding from responsibility is sinful. Abandoning our responsibilities and those around us when we’re struggling is not the answer even if we feel like it. As a result, David asks God to show him the way he should go (v. 8) and for the Lord to teach his will (v. 10). No counselor is wiser than our Lord. We need the guidance and direction of the Lord so we will know what to do even when, maybe especially when we are struggling. When we pray for Gods’ guidance and wisdom, he grants it.
• Trust in the Lord’s purposes for his own name’s sake. David grounds the entirety of his prayer for security, protection, and strength in the plea, “For your name’s sake, O Lord, preserve my life!” (v. 11). The privilege of prayer is for God’s own people. Belonging to God comes at a price. The price to be in God’s family is redemption and rescue. In the Old Testament, God rescued Israel for the sake of his name. Ezekiel 36:21-23 highlights this idea. God restored Israel from exile for the sake of his holy name and to spread his glory among the nations. This prophecy is a part of a larger section in chapters 36 and 37 that culminate in a Messianic promise. Jesus fulfilled Ezekiel’s prophecies when he came to be the Shepherd King (Ezekiel 37:24-28). Jesus’ substitutionary death on the cross is the price for our redemption in the New Testament. Christ did not die merely for us, he died “for the sake of his name for all the nations” (Romans 1:5). Beloved, this is a beautiful prayer and promise. To be able to pray that God would intervene “for the sake of his name” is to recognize that we live under his banner, under his promise, under his protection. Believers who remain and conquer in Christ receive a new name (Revelation 2:17). More than that Jesus says “The one who conquers, I will make him a pillar in the temple of my God. Never shall he go out of it, and I will write on him the name of my God, and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem, which comes down from my God out of heaven, and my own new name” (Revelation 3:12). Not only does faith in Christ mean we get a new name, but that it is the name of God our Savior and King. Beloved, he will not abandon his name. He will not abandon us.

A final recommendation. Don’t neglect the gathering of God’s people in worship. One of the most challenging aspects of caregiving was having to answer the following question each Sunday, “How’s your dad doing?” I didn’t have a good answer, and I couldn’t go into detail with everyone who asked. Sometimes, I wished no one would ask about him.

Looking back, I know now that those questions were asked with genuine concern. I also know that I needed the worship gatherings. In Word and worship, each week I was reminded of the goodness and greatness of God’s works. The steadfast love of God through his gospel were present weekly. The Lord’s name, will, purposes, and guidance permeated Sunday gatherings. In essence, Sunday worship gatherings served as a delivery mechanism for the help I needed.

If you’re struggling, read and work through Psalm 143. Also, show up Sunday to sing, worship, and remember the greatness and goodness of God. It might just be the medicine you need.

Photo by Martin Dalsgaard on Unsplash