A Tale of Two Deaths

Nearly eight years ago (1/16/2018), my mom died of a massive heart attack. Last night (1/9/2026), my dad died sitting in his recliner at his apartment. In those eight years, my dad grieved, faced depression, moved from Kentucky to Millers Creek, faced surgeries, falls, and a multiple myeloma diagnosis.

My mom’s health journey was long and difficult with many health issues she could not control, but her death was sudden and unexpected. My dad’s health journey has been long and difficult, and his death while sudden was expected. When I left him yesterday afternoon, I didn’t expect it to be last night, but we knew it was on the way.

Death is a horrible enemy. It is relentless. A number of years ago, I preached through Psalm 23. In that most famous psalm, David penned these words, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me, your rod and your staff, they comfort me” (Psalm 23:4). Several things stood out for me as I studied this verse.

First, the Shepherd who leads through green valleys and still waters is still leading through the valley of the shadow of death. In my mom’s sudden death, we saw the Lord leading and showing grace given the many other health challenges she faced. In my dad’s journey these past several years, the Shepherd was leading as well. Even in sorrow and illness, my dad was not alone.

Second, the valley of the shadow of death casts a long shadow. We are trained to think of death as a moment in time when one’s heart stops beating. But the imagery of Psalm 23 indicates that David viewed death as an enemy with tentacles reaching into life to entangle the living. Dad experienced death in this way over the past few years. From depression that began with my mom’s death to the isolation brought on by the Covid-19 pandemic, to chronic health issues from life choices to the incurable multiple myeloma diagnosis a couple of years ago, death’s shadow reached my dad long ago. The moment of death was last night, but the moments of death have been many and varied over the past few years.

Third, death is a real enemy but not an ultimate one. David ends the Psalm, “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever” (Psalm 23:6). David’s testimony reminds us that the believer may die, but lives on forever. Death took my dad last night, but my dad is alive in the presence of the LORD forever. He’s with the LORD, many of his loved ones who have already passed, and with my mom, the love of his life.

My dad’s suffering and death have taught me some things about the goodness and mercy of the LORD. Sometimes stubbornness is a gift to the living. My aunt was talking to me earlier about how my dad got some of his stubbornness honestly from his mom and his grandfather. And boy did he. He was stubborn, strong-willed, and just didn’t listen to much of what I told him these past several years. I’ll never forget him raising his arm, looking at me and the hospice nurses and declaring in that commanding tone I was so familiar with as his son, “I’m ready to die, and I would just as soon die sitting right here in this chair.” My dad’s stubborn will to live and to die in his chair was granted. He lived as long as he did because of his stubborn refusal to give up.

Sometimes God’s goodness and mercy is shrouded in unlikely clothing. There have been many times over the last few years that I struggled to see the goodness and mercy of God in my dad’s circumstances and my responsibility to care for him. My dad struggled with pain, cognitive decline, weakness, and his attitudes reflected these difficulties. As a caregiver, at times I’ve been angry, resentful, frustrated, argumentative, and plain difficult to be around. But even in these challenging days, God’s goodness and mercy chased us.

From his Home Instead caregiver to his deacons at church to church members who brought him meals and doughnuts, God reminded him and me of his goodness and love.

  • God showed his goodness and mercy through my wife’s practical, problem solving advice. In my frustrations and complaints, she was always quick to find and offer solutions. Nearly every major help my dad received traces back to an idea or suggestion she made.
  • God showed his goodness and mercy through cancer nurses and steroids. My dad was always at his best behavior when we went to his cancer infusions at the hospital. I think it was because the cancer nurses coddled him and treated him so well. I’m deeply grateful for the doctors and nurses that helped him battle the cancer and encouraged him along the way. Dad, my siblings, and I made the decision to stop his cancer treatments last spring due to weakness, loss of appetite, and other side effects. At that time, none of us thought he would make it through the summer much less the rest of 2025. But a steroid and moving off of cancer medications restored his appetite and gave him several months of quality living.
  • God showed his goodness and mercy through hospice care. I’m thankful for Mountain Valley Hospice who provided guidance for this season of my dad’s life.
  • God showed his goodness and mercy through many friends, prayers, encouragements, and moments even when I had trouble seeing it.
  • God showed his goodness and mercy through a family in our church who showed up at my dad’s apartment to sing Christmas carols. They sent me a video of him listening and even singing along.

My dad and mom are no longer with us. I deeply miss my mom’s prayers and even the stories she would tell over and over again. I miss my dad always asking about my sons even when his memory wasn’t great. I even miss his ornery orders that he would give me nearly every time I went to care for him. From now on, January will always be the month of two deaths. The tales of my parent’s deaths are much like the stories of so many friends, family, and church members that I’ve gotten to know. But their tales don’t end in January 2018 and 2026. For the death that our LORD died some 2,000 years ago means that my parents are more alive now than ever before. The death that our LORD died means that however I go through the valley one day in the future, I know that I will live forever in the presence of the LORD.

Photo by Katherine Hanlon on Unsplash

Making Sense of Charlie Kirk’s Assassination

America was rocked by the assassination of Turning Point founder, Charlie Kirk on Wednesday. Kirk’s brand of conversation, debate, and Christian witness raised conservative views on college campuses and provided a platform for gospel witness.

As a pastor and follower of Jesus, I knew of Charlie Kirk’s organization and had watched snippets and pieces of his debates with students and faculty on college campuses. He was controversial because he took the biblical worldview and its implications for policies and philosophy to institutions of higher education that are largely leftist in ideology. In their book, The Coddling of the American Mind, Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt (who are not conservatives) note the decreasing lack of ideological diversity on college and university campuses. Universities in the US over the past 50-60 years have nearly always leaned left politically and ideologically. But Lukianoff and Haidt point out that departments with a minority of conservative (or ideologically divergent viewpoints) keep progressive viewpoints honest. However, they point out in their research that many universities and colleges lack even the token conservatives. The vacuum created by this lack of ideological diversity created space for someone like Charlie Kirk to bring his brand of Christian conservatism to the public square.

We don’t know the exact motivation of his assassin, but the vitriol and anger around his death have been real. Many on the right have lamented in grief and sadness. Others have expressed concerns that this marks “the death of free speech” (Jay Leno). Some on the fringe left have essentially celebrated his death. And others have been fired for their inappropriate comments about the assassination. Charlie Kirk’s assassination is squarely in the public eye.

As Americans, our founding was based upon divergent ideas and the opportunities for freedoms of speech, religion, and the press. We are at our best as a country when those values are honored and defended. We should lament how events like Kirk’s murder endanger free speech.

As Christians, however, we have a deeper viewpoint that provides both context and clarity for an event like this. Since the first century, Christians have been martyred for their speech by religious zealots (Stephen in Acts 7) and politicians looking to curry favor with the people (James in Acts 12:1-4). For the past two thousand years, Christians have faced dismissal, denunciation, persecution, and death for spreading the gospel into the public square. Biblical Christianity is a faith predicated on an an announcement. First, Christians announced the gospel (the good news about Jesus Christ who came to redeem sinners) Second, and this is the political implication of the gospel, Christians echoed Jesus’ announcement of his inaugurated kingdom (Mt. 4:17) and his claim of authority as the now and forever king (Matthew 28:18-20). To be a follower of Jesus is to spread this news and to make these announcements to those around us.

In my devotions today, I was struck by Paul’s description of the gospel’s effect on those who believe and those who don’t. It is an appropriate and clarifying text helping us make sense of Kirk’s assassination. Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 2:14-6: “But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere.  For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing,  to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things?”

Charlie Kirk might still be alive if he had kept his Christian faith in the church, but he took it public. He took it to the places where people needed to be confronted by it. Paul’s affirmation here encourages us to view the assassination of Charlie Kirk through the lens of a Biblical worldview.

  • In Christ, followers of Jesus triumph. The message of the gospel is not merely about individual redemption or personal salvation. It is the declaration of a kingdom that Christ inaugurated when announced “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand” (Mt. 4:17). The reason Christians live and spread the gospel is because Jesus triumphs. He is the now and forever king. When we follow him in acts devotion, service, love, and even taking the gospel to the public square, we are following Jesus procession of triumph to bring salvation and rescue to people for whom he died.
  • In Christ, followers of Jesus spread the fragrance of the gospel. The power of fragrance is real. Certain smells comfort. As I write, we have a cinnamon pumpkin candle burning that is bringing the smell of fall to our house. After being away for a while, a certain smell of clothing can bring the smell of home to our minds. Horrid smells are also powerful. The smell of a dead animal in our basement walls several years ago was overpowering for a number of weeks. Paul illustrates the gospel as a fragrance of life or death depending on who hears it. For believers, the gospel is a beautiful comfort–a fragrance of life. But don’t forget this. The gospel to the perishing is often a fragrance of death. The gospel offends for it tells us we are sinners. The gospel insults for it tells us that we are not good enough to save ourselves. Make no mistake. It was the offense and insult of the gospel (with its political implications that Charlie Kirk proclaimed) that aroused such hate and vitriol around his message and cause.
  • In Christ, followers of Jesus have life now and life forever. One reason that followers of Jesus will continue to spread the gospel in the public square even in the face of persecution and suffering is because the gospel is not merely about this life. Charlie Kirk did not merely want college students to change their minds, to become conservative, or even to become pro-life so a baby’s life would be rescued. The gospel he proclaimed has implications for eternity. If we lose our lives for the sake of the gospel, then we gain Christ and life forever (Mt. 16:24-27). The martyrs of Revelation 12:11 acknowledge the kingdom and authority of Jesus as Lord and the eternal life he brings. The reason Christians (martyrs) can die with hope is that eternal life through Christ awaits those who follow Jesus.
  • In Christ, followers of Jesus can make sense of tragedy and suffering. There are many tragedies of this assassination. We can lament the hate and vitriol in our political atmosphere. We can bemoan the fact that acts like this endanger free speech. We can and will speculate regarding the motivations of the shooter. But one of the deepest tragedies is that Charlie Kirk leaves behind a widow and two young children. Their grief is real. In a moment, an act of evil shattered their world. May God comfort and strengthen them as they walk this unanticipated path through the valley of the shadow of death. The Bible never minimizes grief, death, and sorrow, but it does offer us aid in making sense of it. Jesus’ death and resurrection teach us the value of life (he lived, died, and lives again), the value of the body (he was resurrected in a glorified, but real human body), and the value of hope in something beyond this life. Suffering, death, and sadness are real, but they are not forever. Samwise Gamgee in The Lord of the Rings posed this question at the end of the story, “Is everything sad going to come untrue?” The Bible’s answer is, “Yes.” God is going to remake the world and bring hope and life to the broken and sad. This is one reason why followers of Jesus will continue to proclaim the gospel, continue to invade the public square with truth, continue to challenge false ideologies, and continue to challenge people to think. There is hope that can only be found in Jesus Christ.

Christian, let’s not be silenced by those who hate and reject the gospel. Let’s not live in fear of what might happen to us. May we have the courage of millions of brothers and sisters who have gone before to spread the aroma of Christ, the glory of his gospel to our neighbors and to the nations. May we take the gospel and its implications to the public square. May we rest our hope in the now and forever King at whose throne we will one day worship.

Photo by Mike Labrum on Unsplash