mission

What to do when some fall away from faith?

At our worship service on Sunday March 6, we baptized 5. When I baptize, I ask two questions of the new believers. One, “Do you believe Jesus Christ is the Son of God and Savior of sinners?” Two, “Will you, with our help follow Jesus as Lord for the rest of your life?”

The second question focuses on the reality that trusting in Jesus is a commitment to following Jesus as Lord. It is for this reason that our mission at Wilkesboro Baptist is to lead our neighbors and the nations to follow Jesus. We definitely want people, young and old, to trust in Jesus as Savior. But our mandated mission from Jesus is to “make disciples;” to follow Jesus as Lord.

And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Matthew 28:18-20

In light of our mission and our baptism question about following Jesus, there is a real tension in the life of many churches. What about children, teenagers, and adults who professed faith in Jesus, but no longer exhibit any spiritual fruit as a Christ-follower?

There is hardly a week that goes by that I don’t talk to a church member whose adult child or adult grandchild has strayed from the faith. I could relate to you story after story from burdened parents and grandparents for the souls and spiritual condition of their children and grandchildren. Some of you reading this are those parents and grandparents.

In an article a couple of weeks ago, I addressed the reality that Jesus invites children to follow him. The tension I’ve been wrestling with is how to make sense of children/grandchildren who fall away from or reject the faith. Based on my conversations with parents and grandparents, here are some reasons why children who grew up in church fall away from the faith. These reasons are not intended to be exhaustive, but rather representative.

  • Some fall away from the faith intellectually. Culture, worldview, media, education (public and higher) promote values and beliefs that are in contradiction to a biblical worldview. When our children and grandchildren are not grounded in the gospel and biblical doctrine, it becomes all too easy for skeptical philosophical ideas and arguments to damage a once vibrant faith. Many I’ve talked to over the years are in this category.
  • Some fall away from the faith morally. Sometimes people stop going to church and fall from the faith because of sinful behavior. A mentor once told me, “When someone distances themselves from church and family, it can often mean that he or she has unconfessed sin.” It is difficult to consistently be around God’s people and the proclaimed gospel when living in rebellion and sin.
  • Some fall away from the faith gradually. Many churches have seen a gradual departure from parishioners during COVID. If a person misses one week, it is easier to miss a second week. If a family misses church for a month, then it becomes easier not to attend the next month. This happens in one’s personal life as well. Neglecting spiritual disciplines and a relationship with Christ eventually causes a fall from the faith.

As a pastor watching these reasons play out in people’s lives, it really doesn’t appear like Satan cares one way or another how he draws people away from Christ. He’ll use intellectual doubts, moral failures, and gradual departures to damage one’s Christian faith.

Let me offer a few suggestions for how we make sense of those who have fallen away from faith and how to help restore them to Christ.

  1. Remember, a faith that is real is a faith that will persevere. I was talking to a church member several weeks ago about his assurance of salvation. He shared about a time as a young adult where he strayed from Christ, church, and faith. Yet he returned. It would do us all well to remember that if someone has a genuine faith in Christ, then Christ will not let that person go easily.
  2. Falling away from faith can be a reflection of a spiritual experience that was not genuine or saving. Some people fall away because what they experienced was not truly salvation. Bible Belt culture is rampant with examples. Walking an aisle, taking a preacher by the hand, or praying a prayer can be responses that coincide with genuine faith, but by themselves, they do not equate with salvation. There are some among us and some who have fallen away who were never really genuinely converted. This means we must be clear with the gospel that we preach and burdened for those who have fallen away.
  3. Pray for those who have fallen away. Jesus is the Good Shepherd who seeks to save the lost. He left the 99 to find the 1. Jesus cares more deeply about those who have fallen away than we could imagine. He died for them. Whether they need repentance in returning to their faith or a genuine work of salvation, Jesus cares for their souls. We should bring our burden for those who have fallen away to the Lord in regular prayer. Have others join you in prayer for them.
  4. Be a sounding board for questions and doubts. This suggestion is important for those who have developed intellectual uncertainties about Christianity. For 2,000 years Christianity has been persecuted, alienated, marginalized, questioned, and attacked. Christianity is stronger today for all of the attacks it has faced. For those who have legitimate questions about the veracity of Christianity, listen, learn, and discover the answers that will help build their faith back doctrinal brick by doctrinal brick. As a professor of theology, history, and apologetics and pastor for more than 20 years, I’m more confident than ever about the philosophical and theological soundness of Christianity. Legitimate questions and doubts can be answered with patient and intellectually rigorous apologetic and theological resources. For example see Tim Keller’s Reason for God or C.S. Lewis’ Mere Christianity or Nancy Pearcey’s Total Truth.
  5. Don’t preach at your loved ones. It is difficult for adult children and grandchildren to listen to their parents and grandparents, especially those who harp and nag. Those that have drifted away or fallen away do need preaching, but it may be that the preaching they need should not come from you. Invest in your children/grandchildren relationally even if they’ve drifted away from the faith. Pray for them. Encourage them. Keep the relational conversation channels open. There may come a day when the relational influence you maintain results in God using you to bring them back to faith.
  6. Deepen your own faith and help those under your influence to deepen their own faith. This might be the most meaningful suggestion in the list. You are never too old or too young to deepen your faith and understanding of Christian doctrine. Growing in doctrine and devotion serves as a framework for spiritual formation. The Christian who is growing to know God more deeply is the Christian who is increasingly less likely to fall away from faith.

At Wilkesboro Baptist Church, we’ve returned to a Wednesday night doctrinal study with the aim at helping us deepen our faith. Each Wednesday at 6:00 PM, we meet in our sanctuary for Doctrine and Devotion: Theological Reflections for Spiritual Formation. We are currently studying the doctrine of revelation (God speaking). If you are unable to join us in person, we’re recording the audio and sharing on our church podcast channel. You can listen here online. Or you can download our podcasts on your favorite podcast network.

Photo by Md Mahdi on Unsplash

“It’s not about you.”

Rick Warren opened his bestselling book, The Purpose Driven Life, with these words, “It’s not about you.” Warren was talking about purpose and mission in life. He’s right.

Since the beginning of summer, I’ve been preaching from the book of Proverbs. The last several weeks I’ve dealt with several convicting subjects according to the book of Proverbs: pride, words, and anger. You can listen to the podcasts of recent sermons by searching for Wilkesboro Baptist wherever you find podcasts or by visiting our podcast page here: https://www.wilkesborobaptist.org/podcasts.

That sentence, “It’s not about you” covers the basic truth behind the character and virtue that the book of Proverbs is attempting to teach us.

We live in a “have it your way” culture where advertising, marketing, and media are aimed at making your life more convenient or happier. Just observe the self-help section in a bookstore or watch carefully the next set of commercials on television. If you listen to the subtle (or not so subtle) messaging, then it is easy to think that everything is about us. If I want a new car, then I deserve one. If I want to fit in, then I must have the newest iPhone. If I want to have a happy lunch, then I’ll get it “my way.”

I don’t mean to pick on advertising and marketing so much. It is just an illustration of a far deeper problem with humanity.

Let’s just take the subjects of the last three sermons I preached: pride, words, and anger. The vice of pride tells us that everything is about us. And when our pride is damaged, we act out. Our words are not necessarily good or bad, but most often they are about us. It is so easy to get caught up in the I, me, mine culture where everything I communicate in spoken or written word is about me. Think social media. If you want a convicting exercise, look back through your social media feeds and reread your posts. How many of them are about you? How many times did you write, “I,” “me,” or “mine.” And then there is anger. Most of the time, my anger is caused by something or someone that doesn’t match my expectations. I get angry when “I’m” impatient, frustrated, disappointed, etc. Essentially, these three topics are symptomatic of self-absorbed thinking.

We need to tell ourselves over and over again, “It’s not about me.”

If it’s not about us, then what on earth are we here for? In short, we’re here as reflections of the Creator. God made us in his image, for his glory, to accomplish his purpose. God made us to make us like Jesus (Romans 8:29).

To put it one way, we exist to lead our neighbors and the nations to follow Jesus. At Wilkesboro Baptist, we do this by worshiping, learning, serving, and replicating. These steps are good reminders that life is not about us.

In worship, we focus our attention on the Lord who is worthy of our praise. In true worship, our preferences and desires take a back seat to the praise and glory of Jesus Christ.

In learning, we humble ourselves to be taught. As followers of Christ, we realize that we are on a journey to learn more about God, ourselves, our world, others, and our mission.

In serving, we put others first. Instead of being consumers of church culture, we are servants of others. We give our time, talents, and tithes as investments into the lives of others: be it people in our church, community, or across the world.

In replicating, we realize that the mission of making disciples is our priority. To replicate is to reproduce the life of Christ in someone else. We can’t replicate the life of Christ in someone else if the life of Christ is not the controlling presence in our own lives. And if we live each day as if it is about us, then we are actively working against the purpose of Christ in our own lives.

Is your life about you? If your behaviors, habits, and decisions say “Yes,” then maybe it’s time for some life analysis.

This message series has been convicting to me as well. Over the past several weeks, God has reminded me of ways where I have behaved as if my life is about me. May we learn to follow Christ and let the life of Christ live within us.

May Paul’s affirmation to the Galatians be true of us:

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. 

Galatians 2:2O

Photo by Ben Robbins on Unsplash